Someone Really Important

The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, "You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?"

The driver is understandably hesitant and says, "I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm supposed to do that."

But the Pope persists, "Please?" The driver finally lets up. "Oh, all right, I can't really say no to the Pope."

So the Pope takes the wheel, and hits the gas and goes around 100 mph in a 45 zone. A policeman notices and pulls him over.

The cop walks up and asks the Pope to roll down the window. Startled and surprised, the young officer asks the Pope to wait a minute. He goes back to his patrol car and radios the chief.

Cop: Chief, I have a problem.

Chief: What sort of problem?

Cop: Well, you see, I pulled over this guy for driving way over the speed limit but it's someone really important.

Chief: Important like the mayor?

Cop: No, no, much more important than that.

Chief: Important like the governor?

Cop: Wayyyyyy more important than that.

Chief: Like the president?

Cop: More.

Chief: Who's more important than the president?

Cop: I don't know, but he's got the Pope driving for him!

Father NOs bes$t

A teen wrote to his father :

Dear Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.

With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need.

$o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, A$ I would love to hear from you.

Love
Your $on

His father replied :

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are ENOugh to keep even an HoNOurs student busy.

Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love, Dad

From A Child's Heart

A daddy was listening to his child's prayers. "Dear Harold..."

"Wait a minute, honey, how come you called God 'Harold'?" The little girl looked up and said, "That's what they call Him in church. You know the prayer we say, 'Our Father, Who art in heaven, Harold (Hallowed) be Thy name..,'"

And then there was this particular four year-old who prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets (tresspasses) as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."

A five year-old and his playmates had found a dead bird and were giving it a Christian funeral. The burial spot was dug and the five year-old was selected to say the appropriate prayer. So, with dignity he intoned his version of what he thought his father always said, "Glory be to the Faaaather, and to the Sonnn.... and into the hole you gooo (Holy Ghost)."

And finally the realist: "Dear God, please take care of my daddy and my mummy and my sister and my brother and my doggy and me. Oh yes, please take care of Yourself, God. If anything happens to You, we're gonna be in a big mess."

From the Book: World's Greatest Collection of Church Jokes

A Cheerful Heart is a Good Medicine

Give me a sense of humour, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humour out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.
~AUTHOR UNKNOWN~

A glad heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by grief of mind the spirit is cast down. - Proverbs 15:13

How bad is the economy now?

It is definitely getting very bad! And Cats are the most dramatic!

The Loving Husband?

Click the picture to read the story...

Automatic Confession Service?

When modernism is the thought that rules our church and tradition is trampled down, expect to see the worst scenario. Stay away from 'automatic confession service'. What’s that?

When Grandma goes to court...

^^^
CLICK TO ENLARGE

Work At Home Moms

Florida court sets atheist holy day

(Emm, I'm not sure if this is a true story)

In Florida, an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days. The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring,"Case dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays." The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant."
The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."
The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned. You gotta love a Judge that knows his scripture!

Become An Infopreneur. What Do You Know That The Net WANTS?

The Perils of Having an un-American Name

Reporters conducting street interviews on the candidates for CNN (These are not jokes).

Reporter: What do you think of Barrack Obama?

Middle-aged man: I think we should be trying harder to capture him. What are we doing in Iraq when Obama is still out there, still a threat to America?

Reporter: No, I mean Barrack Obama from Chicago. What do you think of him?

Middle-aged man: How did he get into the country? Don't tell me he came through Mexico! We really need to tighten our borders.

Reporter: What do you think of Barrack Hussien Obama?

30-something man: He got what was coming to him, that's all I can say. He committed crimes against humanity and got what he deserved. I don't feel sorry for him at all.

Reporter: May I ask whom you plan to vote for in 2008?

20-year-old man: I really like that guy, what is his name, Obrack Barama.

Reporter: What about you sir? Who gets your vote in 2008?

19-year-old man: Your mama.

Reporter: Pardon me?

19-year-old man: Broke Your Mama. That's who I'm voting for. Broke Your Mama.

Reporter: Oh I see. And what about you miss?

21-year-old woman: Me? I'm voting for ..uh..Baroque Alabama.